Mecha-King-Jesus
by Darkspawndweller04
Summary: When King Ghidorah gets enhanced with Satanic powers, Godzilla has to call on a special ally to help! Warning: contains satanic references, cyborg Jesus and diarrhea.


Godzilla was heading to Sapporo for his latest showdown. He had felt the balance of the Earth become disturbed when crazy thunderstorms began to shoot across the sky. The two tiny women who flew around in Mothra's bug-fur came to Godzilla in a vision. "Godzilla! Please help the Earth! A huge monster is causing chaos in northern Japan and the environment is suffering from all the lightning!" Godzilla was confused as he didn't know why Mothra couldn't go herself and save the Earth as he had napping to catch up on because he still hasn't recovered from his curry in India. He then realised that Mothra was flying into space to stop a giant meteorite that was going to pound on the planet so he stopped being retarded and told the tiny Mothra priestesses that he'd help. He KREEEEEEEEOOOOOOONNNNKed loudly as he waded into the sea and destroyed part of Vietnam with the tidal wave that he caused.

When Godzilla got to Sapporo he was alarmed by what he saw. He shat himself a little into the sea in fright as he saw the the city was being menaced by his arch nemesis King Ghidorah! King Ghidorah laughed at Godzilla with each of his ugly three heads when he saw that he'd shat himself and the humiliation gave Godzilla horrendous diarrhea and he destroyed downtown Sapporo with one giant wave of crap. Then the fight began. I can't tell you how much shit was around!

Godzilla smacked King Ghidorah across his middle and left heads with half a skyscraper and he golden dragon fell back into the shit. This made King Ghidorah mad and he breathed lightning all over Godzilla, igniting Godzilla's flammable crap as he did so and causing Godzilla to begin flailing around trying to put out his fiery tail. For some reason the fire wasn't even bothering Ghidorah although his left head was throwing up violently into the Sapporo subway system. Thousands drowned horribly in the ensuing shit-puke tidal wave. Godzilla yelled in monster language at King Ghidorah, "How come you're immune to fire now?!" Ghidorah chittered out an evil laugh as he replied from his middle head, "You're such an idiot Godzilla. I made an alliance with the father of all monsters! SATAN!" He then breathed lightning again and Godzilla fell backwards over a Ferris wheel.

Godzilla shat himself massively in terror. Even he couldn't hope to defeat Satan! Ghidorah went back to destroying the city with his super-powered lightning beams which made the shape of a pentagram or a goat's head whenever they landed in the ground proving that Ghidorah had become and agent of the Devil. Godzilla called on the tiny Mothra priestesses for help but the didn't reply because they were now in space helping Mothra. So he did the only sensible thing as a last resort, he prayed to God for help. God understood that the situation in Sapporo was really bad but unfortunately he was busy elsewhere...so he sent Jesus Christ to aid Godzilla! Lord Jesus appeared in a flash of blinding white light in front of Godzilla (standing on a skyscraper so he could be level with Godzilla's head) and held his arms wide in a gesture of friendship. Godzilla bowed. King Ghidorah became enraged and started to breathe lightning all over where Jesus had appeared whilst crapping himself in fear of the wrath of the Son of God. Jesus just stood there happily and was immune to the lightning. He then grew to the same epic size as Godzilla and stood besides the King of the Monsters ready to fight.

King Ghidorah charged at Godzilla and Jesus and ended up being bathed in Godzilla's atomic breath before Jesus sent a wave of deadly holy energy towards King Ghidorah which burned his wings because he was marked as an agent of Satan. Jesus clapped his hands and a holy sword appeared which he used to try and spear Ghidorah through the heart with. He succeeded and Ghidorah flailed around as blood and crap started to explode out of his every orifice...but then an unholy miracle happened. King Ghidorah started to glow in a blood red light and he was suddenly healthy again! Godzilla and Jesus looked at each other in horror but in this moment of distraction King Ghidorah pulled the holy sword from his heart with one of his heads and USED IT TO STAB JESUS!

Godzilla roared in anger and again used his atomic breath in King Ghidorah, alongside his new diarrhea shot ability. Jesus collapsed onto the floor and shrunk back to his original human size. Godzilla scooped up the Son of God in one of his clawed hands and tried to protect him from King Ghidorah's continuing attacks. He prayed to God not to let his son die again. Then...Jesus started glowing and this scared Godzilla so much that he dropped Jesus's body! It would've fallen into the shit-puke river that flowed through downtown Sapporo but he started levitating in mid air by the power of God. Jesus began growing to a super size again and bits of his body were replaced with cyborg parts. I will detail this below:

* He has a metal arm like the Winter Soldier from Captain America 2

* Half of his chest has been covered by a metal breastplate

* His legs are metal and he can jump super high

* He has an inbuilt hand minigun

Jesus had transformed to be the ultimate destroyer of Satanic forces! Mecha-King-Jesus! Godzilla and Mecha-King-Jesus faced Satanic King Ghidorah once more and the golden dragon started to have diarrhea and vomiting because he was so scared. His lightning was now useless against Mecha-King-Jesus and because Godzilla was under his protection, he was immune too. Mecha-King-Jesus opened fire on Ghidorah with his gigantic inbuilt hand minigun and Ghidorah's wings disintegrated to nothingness! The golden dragon shrieked and chittered as Godzilla started to rip off his heads one by one and eat them. He tried to feed one to Mecha-King-Jesus but he politely said no because he was a vegetarian. Eventually King Ghidorah was utterly defeated and his body was sucked through the ground through a portal to Hell. Mecha-King-Jesus resurrected all the people who had died in the fight and rebuilt Sapporo with the wave of his hand. He then flew back to Heaven and Godzilla waved goodbye.

Godzilla waded back into the sea to go back to Ogasawara Island with a sense of satisfaction of having trashed his arch nemesis Ghidorah once again. He shat himself again from the joy of it all. He created a tidal wave that destroyed half of Sapporo as he entered the sea and undid most of Jesus's good work.

The end.


End file.
